Chapter 6

Burrows home--Downtown Vancouver, BC

Randy and Carol were busy eating when they heard a knock at the door. Randy looked at his wife before getting up as he walked over and unlocked the door, revealing his ex girlfriend, Ellie at the door. "Ellie, hi. What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you about our daughter, Ronnie."

"Ellie." Randy glared at her before shutting the door and looked back at her. "How many times do I have to tell you to stay the hell out of Ronnie's life?!"

"She is my daughter, too, Randy. You can't keep her away from me."

"I would really want you to stay away from her, Ellie."

"I am sorry, Randy but I can't do that."  Ellie walked away with a smirk on her face.

"Ellie, what do you want from her?!" Randy exclaimed trying to get Ellie's attention.

Ellie turned around and looked at Randy. "I just want to get to know her, Randy. I really wish you would let me."

"It is up to Ronnie if she wants to see you, not me. I don't want to see you ever again but if you do something that hurts our daughter, then I will get involved."

"Fine by me, Randy." Ellie walked away as she went toward car getting in and driving back to her apartment.

Randy rolled his eyes as he walked back into his house and slammed his door, not believing the way his ex acted in public. She sure hasn't changed one bit, Randy thought to himself.

Carol heard the door slammed as she got up and walked into the living room, seeing her frustrating husband sitting down. She went over and sat down beside, rubbing his back. "Honey, what is going on?"

"My ex, Ellie is back in town, wondering if she can see Ronnie and I told her that it was Ronnie's choice not mine if she can see her. I just don't want to expose Ronnie to her life," Randy whispered, wondering if Ronnie will make the right choice.

"Sweetie, Ronnie will make the right choice and she always has," Carol replied.

"I know," Randy answered, still worried about his daughter's well being.

They sat there wondering what to do but know that Ronnie is going to make the right choice as she always has done in her life. Little did they know she was going to make one of the hardest decisions at practice.

****

General Motors Center---Vancouver, British Columbia

Luc and Ronnie got out of the car as they saw Alex, Ronnie's brother, get out of his car as they walked over towards where he was.

"Luc, Ronnie," Alex called over as he was standing by Taylor Pyatt, Alex's roommate and close friend. "You two ready for practice."

"We sure are," Luc replied as Ronnie and Taylor nodded as all three went inside the General Motors Center and headed towards the locker room as they went inside as Alex, Luc and Taylor went to their locker respectively, leaving Ronnie to go to her office to get her stuff done.

A few minutes later, everyone was done getting ready for practice and headed out towards the ice. Ronnie got her camera ready for the photos for the team website. She wanted to do something special for Trevor Linden since she felt like this was going to be his last year. She had to talk to him after practice was done cause she wanted to know before she did anything special for him.

Ronnie looked around the arena and found Ryan talking to Luc, Taylor and Alex, the three men she felt so comfortable with. Why in the world was he talking to them? Why can't he go over and bug someone else? She skated over and went right in front of Luc, Taylor and Alex.

Ryan glared at her and looked around before Ronnie went in front of him again. "Ah, can't you see that I am trying to talk here, Ronnie?"

"What do you want me to say to you? I'm pretty sure you said it all." She replied, bitterly back at him.

"I don't know okay, Ronnie."

"Well I guess you can go and go talk to your other teammates."

"You can't just shove me away from three of my friends on the team away, Ronnie!"

"Watch me, Ryan!" Ronnie growled as she skated away and went back to her work.

"Ronnie, can we just talk!" Ryan exclaimed, coming over to where Ronnie was.

"Ryan, back off! I mean it!" Ronnie exclaimed, glaring at Ryan before skating over towards where Luc, Taylor and Alex.

"Back off, Ryan," Alex replied, getting in front of him.

"Ronnie! I am serious!" Ryan yelled to Ronnie.

"Ryan, not here," Luc said trying to calm down Ryan.

"Back off, Luc," Ryan growled at Luc before looking at Ronnie.

"I don't want to talk about. You are never serious with me."

"Ronnie, I am right now," Ryan said, looking at her. "When can we talk?" He was being so persistent and annoying at the same time, Ronnie wonder if talking about it now would work.

"I guess now since you are being so dang annoying and persistent. What do you want, Ryan, that is so fucking important?" Ronnie asked, looking at him waiting for answer.

"I wanted to let you know I am sorry for what I did to you in the past. I didn't mean those words and I miss you like crazy, Ronnie. I can see us forever.  I know you can't. Just tell me and I will let you go forever."

"Ryan, you are never sorry for what you did to me. Those words were painful and self-centered. I don't miss you and don't want to us to date again. Plenty of girls out there for you. Let me go so we can move on cause I definitely did."

"Fine, you want it that way, Ronnie then fine by me. See you later, Ronnie Burrows."

"Bye, Ryan Kesler."

    Ryan skated away and went over towards where Markus Naslund and Mattias Ohlund were standing. He finally cut the cords with Ronnie. Well Ronnie did, not him. Both ignored one another during practice and it seemed like the fight divided the team badly. Luc, Taylor, Trevor and Alex stayed on their side while Ryan and the rest of the Canucks stayed on their side. This was going to be a very long practice.

Ronnie felt so dang responsible for it. She was guilty that she couldn't concentrate anymore and sat down on the bench, running a hand through her brown curls, not knowing what to do anymore.

Luc skated over towards where Ronnie was. He jumped over the bench as he walked over and sat down besides her. "Ronnie, what is going on?"

"Luc, it's my fault that this team is now divided."

"No, it's not your fault, Ronnie. This fight was eventually going to happen. I don't care and we'll support you 100%."

"Thank you, Luc. I really appreciate it. I guess I will need all the support I can get."
"Anytime, Ronnie. Now why don't you try and concentrate? We need that awesome photos from one extremely talented, photographer. You need to do what's best for you, Ronnie. Don't worry about Ryan or anyone else."

"Fine, Luc. You are the best, you know that."

"Ronnie, I am a friend but someone who can be the best one out there. I am sure Trevor, Taylor and Alex would all say the same thing."

"You guys are the ones who will save me from everything that is happening right now."

"You mean there is more than ending your relationship with Ryan."

"Yeah there is, Luc."

"Do you mind telling me what it is about or is it way to personal to tell me?"

"No, it is not, Luc. I just can’t believe that something like this would happen to me."

"Like what, Addy?"

"Like my biological mother coming back in my life and wanting to get to know me. I barely even know her, Luc, so why should I even want to get to know her?"

"Maybe she wants to get to know you and regretted not having you in her life. Maybe she wants a second chance to get to know you. Sometimes I want to get to know my dad since my mom only raised me on her own like your own dad did for you. It is up to you, Ronnie but I would do it if I were you. I would cause I want to know everything and why he abandoned me as a baby.  I want to know but I won't cause I don't know his number or even where he lives. I would take every opportunity with me cause you may never know what might come up."

"Luc, I appreciate everything but she could have done that when I was younger. I don't know even if I want to get to know her now."

"You don't have to immediately do it. I was just suggesting it and you might actually surprise yourself and change your mind on it."

"I know you are right, Luc. I want to make sure that choice when the time is right. I just made a huge one with Ryan and right now I just want to think of the good times."

"Good idea."

"Thanks, buddy."

"You are welcome, bestie."

Luc and Ronnie hugged one another before getting up and hopped over the bench as they skated towards where Trevor, Alex, and Taylor were. Those three men along with Luc were the men that Ronnie wanted in her life and most definitely important.

Chapter 5

Next morning, Ronnie woke up with the thoughts of Ellie fresh on her mind. All this time her dad had kept the truth about Ellie and her past a secret. She needed to clear this from her mind so that it wouldnt effect her job with the Canucks, or her relationship with Luc and Alex. She knew needed to handle the situation with Ellie and Ryan all on her own. She could not rely on anyone else's help. She was meeting Ryan after practice. She just couldnt understand what he could possibly want. She was over him and wanted him out of her life so that she could move on

She went into the bathroom, getting cleaned up and getting dressed. She went into her living room as she sat down on the couch, looking at her lyric book. Why hasn't this song been easy for her to write?  She never had this much trouble before. Does it have to do with the fact that she is singing this about her grandmother, her dad's mom, who is a survivor of breast cancer? Or is it cause she found out about her birth mom? She didn't know the real reason yet but she was going to find out. She needed to cause this concert was important for her and her best friend, Brenden Morrow, whose wife Sarah died a year ago from an event that should have never happened.

A few minutes later, Luc knocked on the door and waited for Ronnie to answer the door. The door unlocked as Luc grinned when he saw Ronnie wearing a Burrow player tee and black pants. "Are you ready for the best day of your life?"

"Yes, I am as long as Ryan keeps his distant, I will be okay."

"He will cause I got your back and so does Alex and Taylor."

"That is always good to know, Luc but right now let me deal with this. If I need you, I will let you know. Now let's go."

Luc nodded as Ronnie went out and shut the door as she locked the door and walked towards Luc's Mazda 3 car. They got inside and Luc drove off to the General Motors Center, not knowing that a fight was going to divide a team apart.

Chapter 4

A few hours later, Ronnie heard a knock at her door as she wonder who was at the door. She knows that Luc won’t be her until tomorrow. Who could it possibly be? she gets up as she walks towards the door and slowly unlocks the door as she sees a young woman with curly brown hair and hazel eyes like she had. “Hi. Can I help you with something?”

“No, not really but you knew that I would come into your life, someday.”

“Seriously, you are creeping me out. Who are you?”

“Well first, my name is Elizabeth like your middle name.”

“Okay that’s freaky. Once again who are you and where is this going to?”

“I am your mother, Ronnie. Your biological mother.”

Ronnie just started at her in shock, not knowing that her own mother, the one who gave birth to her, is at her front door. She just discussed it with Alex a few hours ago and now it’s actually true. “Wow. You are my real mother or some fake person telling me this.”

“I am sure not fake or even lying to you. You sure are strong minded like your dad. He  sure did raise you right and helped you become a beautiful young woman.”

“My dad and step mom are the two people who raised me, not you. My dad was there cause you abandoned me.”

“Ronnie, what do you want me to say to you?”

“Let’s have it.”

“What’s that?”

“The heart wrenching yet inspirational tale of a young girl’s complex decision to part with the daughter she so desperately loves.”

Ellie just looked around, wondering what to tell Ronnie. “Actually, it’s not that complex. At the time I got pregnant with you, I liked drugs more than I liked you. That’s it. I am a different person, Ronnie.But those decisions are mine. I can’t change that.”

“And, what, so you just coming to make peace with yourself? That is so screwed up. You can’t just crawl out of your hole after 29 Years and cause a plague, like some kind of locust.”

“For what it’s worth, I crawled out of my hole a long time ago. Your father wouldn’t let me see you.”

“I don’t even believe you.”

Ellie smiled and looked at her. “You used to sit at the arena with your step mom, Carol while watching your step-brother, Alex play hockey for several hours. The Canucks is what team he plays for right. I would approve of both of them. They seem nice.”

“Wow! Okay, you can seriously leave now.”

“Fine by me but if you want to get to know me, you can ask your dad for my phone number and we can talk.”

“I am not really sure right now.”

“Okay. Bye, Ronnie.”

“Bye, Ellie.” Ronnie shuts the door in her face and locked it up. She doesn’t even know why in the world this woman would show up and say those things to her. She had to go talk to her father about this.

Ronnie went back into her room, putting on a bra, a Luc Bourdon player tee, black sweatpants and flip-flops on before grabbing her purse, phone and keys to her black 2010 Ford Mustang. She walked out of her house, looking the door before seeing Ellie driving away in a old 2000 Red Ford Mustang. She goes to her car, unlocks the door and shuts it as she drives to her dad’s home, a few minutes away from Alex’s condo. She drives into her driveway and parks her car as she gets out and locked the car door. She walked up to the only two that have taken her into their lives and raised her like she was their own kid. Her dad raised her and so did her stepmom. Her stepmom was her mom, not this crazy woman who claims to be her mom. She needs to know the truth from her dad.

Ronnie knocked on the door and waited for her dad to answer the door. She hopes her dad has the answers for her about this woman who is rude and mean. Why did this woman come to her front door and said those things to her? Why?

Her dad, Randy, opened the front door and saw his youngest daughter at the door. He was wondering why she was at the door at this time of night. “Honey, hi. How are ya?”

“I am good, Dad. You?”

“I am tired. What is going on?”

“Sorry, Dad but I need to know something.”

“Sure, sweetie. What is it?”

“Is it true that my biological mother is out there? She came to my door a few minutes earlier and told me that she is my real mom.”

“Look, honey.”

“You said you wanted to talk about it when I was older and face-to-face, Dad. So we’re face-to-face. Is it true? Is this woman my mom?”

“Ronnie, honey, you know I would not lie to you when I say this. But yours step-mom, Carol is and always will be your mom. But your biological mother is still alive and around about. She is in Vancouver and told her to stay away from you.”

“Did she want to se me, Dad? Did she?”

“Yes, she did. When you were young at 5, after your 16th birthday and then graduation.”

“Why did you keep her away from me?”

“Cause she was dangerous. Your mom was into drugs, alcohol. She hung around the wrong crowd at high school. She rejected to go to Julliard to become an amazing guitar player and singer. She also didn’t have the money to support you or even me. That’s why we split when you were 2 and I went to a judge and got full custody of you!”

“Dad, now I am 21 years old. What in the world am I supposed to do? She came to my door, wondering what I can do to help her out. She wants to know if I want to get to know her. I do not know if I can afford to have her in my life. I have so much going on right now. What should I do?”

“You do what is best for you, Ronnie. It is your life. You now have control of in what you can do now.”

“Thanks, Dad. You are always there for me.”

“You are welcome.”

Both Randy and Ronnie embraced one another before Ronnie left for the night. She headed home and went inside, double bolting the door. She went inside her room and got ready for bed. Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day.

Chapter 3

Alex needed to find his sister, Ronnie and needed to know what in the world is going with her relationship with Ryan Kesler. He couldn't believe the words that Ryan would accuse his own sister of cheating on him and wanted to go counsel his sister so that he can let her know that he is here for and not for Ryan. He had realize it was time to end his friendship with Ryan. He had driven to his sister's apartment and gotten out of his car as he locked the door. He walked towards the door and got out a spare key that she had given to him. He opened the door as he looked around.

"Ronnie, are you home?" Alex walking around the living room before seeing his sister playing on the guitar before writing more lyrics for the song she is trying to write for an upcoming concert she made together with Mia Crosby and Acadia Catalano.

Ronnie looked up from her lyric book for the concert and sees her brother walking towards her and sits down next to her. "Yeah, I am home, doing some lyric writing for a song for the summer concert I am holding over the summer with Acadia and Mia. I have no idea if I want to do it anymore. I keep thinking about the bad things that are happening right now. I want everything with what is going on with me to go away."

"Does it have anything to do with your relationship with Ryan right now?" Alex asked as Ronnie looked at him.

"What do you know about my relationship with Ryan?"

"Ryan told me about what he did to you after you left with Luc. He told me he broke up with you cause he accused you of cheating on him. Ronnie, I know you would never cheat. I know that. I am so freaking mad at him."

"Ryan is a jerk. He keeps wanting me to forgive him but I can't. You know I never would. Alex, I want to date someone else, not him anymore. I need someone who understands me the best and loves what I do. Someone who will not accuse me of cheating on him."

"I know, Ronnie. That's why I was so pissed at him for accusing you of something you would never do. You will find that guy who will treat you with respect and completely understand you. I know you will. Look at Mom and Dad....they have been married since they were in the 20s. I know Dad made a mistake with mom but she was able to forgive him."

"I know that, Alex. Have you ever met my mom in real life?"

"Once when she was talking to Dad. She said, she wasn't ready for motherhood and told Dad that my mom would be a better mom for you. Your mom wanted you to have a better life than she was living. She was a writer living on paycheck to paycheck and was also a struggling singer/songwriter who couldn’t find a label company to sign her.”

“Yeah, I know but one of these days I would really want to meet her and ask her questions. I just want to know why she gave on me so quickly.”

“Ronnie, you have a wonderful life. Why would you want to know about her life?”

“Cause she is the one who gave birth to me, Alex.”

“Good point but you have Mom, who has been there for you.”

“I know that, Alex. I really do love Mom and all but where do I get these amazing talents to sing and write lyrics.”

“I guess from your mom and dad. Who knows? Ronnie, is this what’s really bugging you? You wanting to know about your biological mom or does it have to do with your relationship with Ryan?”

“Both I guess. My relationship with Ryan was great in college until he accused me of cheating and then him trying to ask for my forgiveness. I don’t even know if going to practice tomorrow will be worth it.”

“It will cause you have mine, Luc and Taylor’s back behind you 100% if Ryan tries to bug you.”

"Thank you, Alex. I really appreciate everything you and our parents do for me. My mom gave me up so I can have a better life. I know that’s the reason why she did it.”

“You are welcome, Ronnie. She loves you but she wants you to live a better life than she could ever have.”

“But what if she wants to visit?”

“Then, it is up to you if you want to bring her in your life. Not mine or our parents but your choice.”

“Yeah, I know, Alex. Why is it always me with relationship issues?”

“It is not your fault with these relationship issues, Ronnie. You need to realize that Ryan is an idiot for saying that to you when you never cheated on him. Ronnie, you need to realize that nothing is your fault with these relationships. You need to do what’s right for: both with Ryan and your mom.”

“You are amazing person, Alex and I will do what’s right for me. Nancy is luck to have you in her life and I do too.”

“Thanks, little sis. I am going to get going. Call me or Luc if you need anything.”

“You are welcome, big brother. I will if I need anything. See you tomorrow.” Ronnie got up with Alex as they hugged one another before she let him out the door as he drove back to his condo, a few minutes away from Ronnie’s place.

Ronnie locked the door as she went back to into the living room and sat on the couch. She pondered about the conversation she just had with Alex and wonder what to do if her mom did come back into her life. She went back to her guitar and strum a few cords before writing the lyrics out again. Little did she know that she was about to find out if she wanted to or not.

Chapter 2

Ryan was still standing outside of the locker room, watching the two good friends walk out the door. He knew that he made a mistake in letting Ronnie go but he still wanted to be a big part of her life and wanted her to know that their friendship meant more than anything. He was an idiot for letting her go in the first time and he knew it when he said those words to her. He never knew how much those exact words hurt Ronnie so much. He walked back into the locker room and headed back to his locker, shaking his head. He sat down and kept wondering what he could to keep Ronnie with him.

"Hey, Ryan, did you see where my sister went?" Alex asked as he walked over to where Ryan was sitting.

"Ronnie went home with Luc. How does Ronnie know Luc anyway?" Ryan answered.

"She knows him because they grew up together along with Kris Letang and they are the best of friends. My girlfriend, Nancy, and Ronnie are best friends with Charlene Ward, who is dating Luc. Ryan, is there something you are not telling me about?" Alex asked, wondering what Ryan was keeping from and wondering if it's his relationship with Ronnie that he had in college.

"I rather not talk about that with you when our teammates are around us," Ryan replied, glaring at Alex.

"Fine, Ryan. Do you want to go somewhere to talk about this?"

Ryan nodded as he got up and walked out of the locker room with Alex. "Why are you so interested in my relationship with Ronnie?"

"Cause I want to make sure you didn't hurt her, okay and I want to protect her with  my heart cause she's my baby sister. I don't want her to get hurt."

"Alex, you don't want to know what happened to us. I want to keep that part of us  quiet."

"Ryan, you keep walking away from her like she's nothing to you. What happened after that team party I held for the Canucks training camp? I saw you two talking outside. What happened? I know you two were dating."

Ryan scratched his head, wondering if telling Alex about what really happened at the Canucks team party was a really good idea. "I pulled her aside so we can talk and I told her that I couldn't be with her cause I was afraid of being hurt. Then before she left today, I told her about what my ex did to me and we ended it afterwards. I told her my reason why we broke up and grew distant. Alex, I still love your sister. I just wish I can take back what I said cause I really do love her and I know she won't hurt me."

Alex shook his head before glaring at his close friend. "Ryan, are you fucking kidding me? Ronnie is one of the most honest people out there and she would never fucking cheat on you."

"I am sorry, Alex and I realized that I made a mistake with your sister by accusing of her cheating on her on me. I knew she would never cheat on me but I was cheated on during my high school with my sweetheart and I was afraid of getting hurt again."

"Ryan, I am sorry that I happened to you but my sister really loved you and when you broke up with her, she called me, crying. She really thought you were the one for her until now. You need to give my sister some time before she comes around to you."

"I understand, Alex and I hope you can forgive me for what I did to your sister."

"I can but that will also take some time."

"Okay. I guess I will see you later, Alex."

"See you later." Alex walked away and out of the building as Ryan watched his best friend and teammate, wondering if he will ever gain the trust in both Alex and Ronnie. Ryan really didn't want to loose the friendship he had with both of them.

Outside of the arena, Alex ran to his car and wanted to get home to comfort Ronnie after finding from what Ryan had told him. He wanted to make sure that Ronniewas going to be okay. Why didn't Ryan and Ronnie tell Alex about their relationship together? He was going to ask Ronnie about it.

****

Still shaken up from the fight with Ryan, Ronnie walked into her apartment with Luc following her closely behind and Luc noticed it from her facial expression. She just didn't know why Ryan was acting like this to him. She hated the way he was treating her and she wished he would grow up. What was she going to do about her relationship with Ryan? She was going to do nothing and had better things do with her life like writing lyrics for her new song she was going to perform at a small club called TRIC and spend some more quality time with her brother, Alex and Luc. She wanted to make sure that Ryan suffered for what he did to her. She wasn't going to let his words get to her. She did that in past when he told her that he wanted to end things with her but she's not willing to take it anymore.

Ronnie threw her stuff as she walked over to the living room, towards the couch as she sat down, wondering what she was going to do with her relationship with Ryan. Did she really wanted to tell Luc what had really happened between her and Ryan during that rookie party that her brother held? Luc was the only that understands her the best and won't get defensive like her brother is.

Luc walked over to the living room, towards the couch as he sat down as Ronnie went into his arms crying. "I wish I knew what I can do but I can't help you if you won't tell me what happened between you and Ryan."

Ronnie looked up. "The fight between me and Ryan happened during a rookie party that my brother Alex held for us. Ryan took me aside and told me the fine reasons why we couldn't date anymore. He told me that he wanted to end it cause he was afraid that I would cheat on him like his ex did to him. I would never cheat, Luc. I can't believe he would do that to me."

"Ronnie, you would never cheat. I know that. I am sorry that Ryan did that to you. You are an amazing beautiful woman who will find the right one someday, That guy will love you for who you are. Give this fight you had with Ryan today a break and stay away from him until you two can talk."

"Thank you, Luc. I am cause I want to work on my music cause that is what is keeping me alive."

"You are welcome. You have an amazing gift, Ronnie. Don't let that go."

"I won't do that cause I have you to help me out at TRIC for that benefit concert. You  are going to help me."

"You know I will, Ronnie. I am sure that Kris Letang and his girlfriend, Mia can help also. Give those two a call."

"I will."

"I will see you tomorrow at practice."

"Okay. I will see you there too."

Luc got up as Ronnie did too and they embraced eachother before Luc left the house and walked out the door. He knew that Ronniewas going to be okay with the help from her brother, Alex, Mia and Kris. He knew Ronnie was strong. He just knew it.

***

Ronnie walked over to her purse as she grabbed her black iPhone out and dialed Kris's number. She walked over as she sat down on the couch and waited for Kris to pick up.

"Hello," Kris Letang asked, wondering who was calling him this late at night.

"Hey, Kris, it's me Ronnie Burrows," Ronnie answered.

"Hey, Ronnie. How are ya?" Kris asked.

"I am not doing so good but that's not important."

"It is important, Ronnie if you are not doing good. What is troubling you?"

"It's Ryan, Kris. He keeps bringing up the past and I don't want to talk about it. There are days where I do not want to talk to him cause I am afraid he'll bring up what happened in college. I just wish he would leave me alone."

"Ronnie, Ryan was so wrong for breaking up because he thought he was cheating. You listen to me. Luc is there to help you out so if you need anyone to help you deal with Ryan, you go get Luc and your brother, Alex. Those two are the most important guys in your life including me and Mia. You don't need this guy to tell you what you can and can not do."

"Thank you, Kris. I am not listening to him and Luc is helping me out with this. So is Alex but I really need a girl perspect from this. I just need advice on how to get away from Ryan."

“Well, then why don’t you talk to Mia? She is here and would love to help you out.”

“Sure. Thanks, Kris.”

“I do anything for you, Ronnie. Hold on,” Kris replied as he went to find Mia as he found her playing on the guitar. “Mia?”

“Yeah, Kris?” Mia asked, putting her guitar aside.

“Ronnie wants to talk to you.”

“Okay,” Mia said, as she took the phone away from Kris. “Hi, Ronnie.”

“Hey, Mia.”

“Okay what is troubling my best friend in the world?”

“Ryan Kesler, my ex is.”

“Okay, what did that jerk tell you?”

“He keeps bringing up the damn past, Mia. Why can’t he let that go? He said he is fucking sorry for what he did to me. He broke up with me cause he thought I was going to cheat. I would never cheat. I am sick and tired of him.”

“He’s not worth it. He’s not. You need someone who is going to bring you up, not down. You need someone who is going to help you through the tough times and know that your passion for music is what you want to do for the rest of your life. Don’t worry about that moron. Work on your music instead of worrying about what this jerk did to you. You are an amazing singer and songwriter. Don't give up that passion either."

“I will, Mia. Thank you so much. You work on your music too cause I need you at this benefit concert at TRIC in the summer.”

“You are welcome. You know I will.”

“Good. I will talk to you later. If not, I will email ya.”

“Okay. Good talking to you. IM or email me if you need anymore advice.”

“I will."

“Bye.”

“Bye.” Ronnie hit end then put her cell phone on the side table, thinking about the conversation she had with both Mia and Kris. They are right. She needs to focus more on her music than her relationship. It’s Ryan’s fault for ruining what we had, Ronniethought to herself. She was going to focus on the concert and her music instead. She was going to focus more on her relationship with Luc and Alex than her destroyed relationship with Ryan.

Chapter 1

"Hey, Ryan!" Ronnie yelled after the Canucks were done with practice before facing the Dallas Stars.

"Oh, hi, Ronnie," Ryan replied, using her nickname from college, "so what's up?"

"How are you? I haven't spoken to you since we took different paths and now you are ignoring me like I don't even exist."

"I am sorry, Ronnie. I am just busy with everything around me. So you and Luc...how long has this been going on?"

"Luc and me...we are just friends, Ryan. We are close friends who have an interest in music. We had a hard time with him in the minors but we made it through. I guess you don't even remember that."

"Yes, I do remember you, Ronnie," Ryan looked around before taking her hand and into a private area. "I am so sorry, Ronnie and I've missed you so much. I needed to be away from you because I was afraid I was going to get hurt again." He sat down on the couch and so did Ronnie.

"I do, too, Ryan, I really did but for you to ignore me for five years like the plague...that's stupid. You really thought I was going to hurt you and I thought you knew me better than that," Ronnie replied, looking at Ryan and wondering why he kept his distant from her because he couldn't tell her the main reason why he broke up with her. She felt nothing to him. He almost made her feel like she was nothing to him.

"Ronnie, I am sorry," Ryan said. "I need you to trust me and believe me when I tell you that my heart is with you. Part of me feels like ever since we got back together you’ve been waiting, waiting to push me away since we broke up. That's why I kept my distant from you. So that my heart would not get hurt again. You know what the main reason I broke up with you."

"What's that, Ryan?"

"Because I was afraid that I would get hurt again. I was cheated on by my ex with my best friend since high school. I didn't want that to happen again."

"Wait...you broke up with me because you thought I would crush your heart like your cheating ex did to you in college, and I'm pushing you away!?"

"I loved you, Ronnie. Back then I didn't even know how else to say it."

"How about you show it? I never pushed you away, Ryan. I was holding on for dear life. Okay, why did you push me away when all I was trying to do was help you? Why did you? Here I was going to tell you how much I cared about you and how much I love you...now you are telling me this."

"Ronnie, what else do you need me to say? I still want to be in your life and love you for the rest of my life. But what can I do to show it towards you?"

"I don't know anymore, Ryan...I just don't know." Ronnie got up as Ryan took her hand but she got away before he could grab it. She opened the door and slammed it shut before seeing Luc.

"Whoa, Ronnie...you okay," Luc said.

"Yes and he didn't do anything stupid I promise you...just lied to my face," Ronnie said.

"Come on and let's go," Luc replied. "One of these days you are going to be with him. You guys have that connection."

"Okay," Ronnie said. "Luc, he's not worth it."

"He's worth it, Ronnie. He loves you and I can hear it in your voice when you told me about that time you met him in college," Luc said.

Luc and Ronnie walked out of the building with Ryan watching closely as both Ronnie and Ryan wonder what to do about their torn friendship but Ronnie's feelings for Ryan. Were these feelings ever going to go away? Was Ryan ever going to open up to Ronnie and trust her that she won't cheat on him?

Prologue

3 months after Luc’s death --July 2008

Veronica "Ronnie" Burrows couldn't believe it had only been three months since her childhood friend Luc Bourdon had passed away. Now that he was gone, she was missing him more than anything in this world she couldn't help but feel more alone than she'd ever been. He had always been there for her but now it was her turn to be there for his longtime sweetheart and Ronnie's best friend Charlene Ward. She and Luc had always been so close to each other that she knew they'd end up together. Now this tragic event that should have never happened took away the one guy that she and Charlene loved. She could vividly remember the days they spent together before he passed away and how his death affected her, her brother, Charlene and the one guy she never thought would be part of her life...Ryan Kessler.

****

April 2008 --1 month before Luc's death

"Hey Ryan, have you seen Ronnie around?" Alex Burrows asked his teammate Ryan Kessler who was busy talking to Luc Bourdon and Kevin Bieska.

"No I haven’t. Why?” Ryan Kessler answered wondering why Alex was asking him where Ronnie was.

"Just wondering," Alex said as he walked away keeping an eye out for Ronnie. He knew that there was some kind of connection between Ronnie and Ryan but, he was still having a hard time figuring them and their feelings out. He saw his sister walking out onto the ice with her camera as she skated in his direction. "Ronnie, where were you?"

"I was in the locker room getting a few things. You need to chill, what’s with the investigation?" Ronnie answered.

"You know I can't chill until I know my baby sister is okay.”

"Well, I am not a baby anymore Alex.” She replied “I am a grown up and it’s about time you realized that."

"I know that but I just want to make sure that you are safe."

"I am safe," she smiled looking over at her childhood best friend Luc Bourdon. "Luc, come over here?"

"Sure," Luc said as he skated over and gave her a quick hug. "How’s my best girl doing?"

"I am doing great”

"So I was wondering. Do you think Ryan has a crush on Ronnie?" Alex asked. Ronnie squealed and punched Alex in the shoulder playfully. "I don't know," Luc shrugged.

"He's been a good friend since college Alex, we are just friends," Ronnie replied calmly knowing that her feelings for Ryan were growing bigger and bigger by the minute. Ryan and Ronnie had known each other since their freshman year at Ohio State when they both met at the teams Christmas party. As Ronnie began to think of her friendship with Ryan, she began to think of the first time she met him.

Winter 2002--Christmas Party @ Ohio State University arena where the Buckeyes play:

Ryan Kessler walked inside the locker room where the Buckeyes were having their annual Christmas party with R.J. Umberger and R.J.'s long time girlfriend Brittany Rodriguez. He walked over to where the other team was as he accidentally hit a young woman. Before she fell down Ryan grabbed onto her quickly and she to face him.

"Thanks," the young woman with light brown curls and hazel eyes replied.

"You're welcome," Ryan said in return, "Sorry about bumping into you."

"That's okay...you jocks have good reflexes," she replied giving him a sly grin.

"Wait...how did you know I played sports," Ryan asked.

"I've lived with one hockey loving brother," she replied. "My name is Ronnie Burrows. Who are you?"

"Oh, okay...nice to meet you, Ronnie. I am Ryan Kessler," Ryan said giving her a smile in return

"Nice to meet you, too," Ronnie replied. "See you later." She walked away looking for her close friend Mia Crosby while letting Ryan think about her and her spunky attitude.

Two months after they met each other, Ryan and Ronnie began dating and getting so close that they thought their love was never going to end. A few months later Ryan was drafted by the Vancouver Canucks and moved to Manitoba to play for their minor league team, while Ronnie transferred to the University of Vancouver and graduated with her degree in music and journalism. She got a job working for the Canucks as their writer and a singer in her spare time. She was working on her first album which was supposed to release in the winter of 2008. She ran into Ryan again as he was a young rookie playing for the Canucks and that's when something tragic happened and she knew Ryan was going to do something she thought he would never do. She remembered the first time they broke up and it was not the easiest thing for Ryan either.

Fall 2004--Training Camp for the Canucks

Ryan went to visit Ronnie when Alex had a team party before training camp started. for the rookies, new players, and old players who were returning for the year. Ryan took Ronnie outside and they quietly sat around waiting for the other to break the awkward silence that would create the never ending relationship wounds. "Ryan, what is it?" Ronnie asked timidly waiting for him to speak.

"We have to break up," Ryan answered her looking anywhere but at her face.

"Why's that? What's going on?" Ronnie asked.

"I just do not want to get hurt again. I was..." Ryan replied.

"You were what, Ryan?"

"I can't answer that for you." He said quietly not wanting to get into it.

"So you want to break up with me without telling me why you want to."

"Yes, because I think it’s the best thing for us right now."

"Maybe for you" She replied dryly, anger dripping from her voice.

"Ronnie, I am sorry."

"Apparently not enough, Ryan, so please get out and don't come back into my life until you can tell me your reason for breaking up with me."

"Fine." Ryan got up as he walked back inside the house, slamming the door and walking out of the house and out of Ronnie's life for what she thought would be ever.

Ronnie never talked to Ryan after the breakup as and they ignored each other like the plague, but now since Ryan was around her feelings for him have started to intensify but, she feared that he would reject her for their past moments. Could she go on with another broken heart from the same man who told her she wasn't enough for him? Her fears were getting in the way of telling Ryan how she really felt and, would he do the same thing by breaking her heart is she going to end up broken and bruised?